Would you dress it up in gold,
when it’s made of rust?
Build it to the stars,
when we return to dust?
But if not this,
then what?
In this little snapshot,
life is all,
all we’ve got.
Sometimes,
rust makes the best instruments.
(c) Paul Andrew Sneddon
It’s always interested me when you hear about people getting up at the very early hours for work or self-improvement. I’m more of a night person. I’m sitting here writing this at 2am. It got me thinking about someone really desperate to emulate and join the ‘5am club.’
***
I’m setting three alarms for 5am tomorrow,
I’ll get going and get stuff done.
While the world is sleeping and people dreaming,
I’ll already have one battle won.
Nothing’s going to stop me now
I’ll get myself a step ahead
Laser focus, got iron will, going to kill
I’ll sleep in a gold crypt when I’m dead
I’ve tried before and it’s not easy,
The Rock, Wahlberg and Ali inspire/
I’ll work out strong, get carved and buff/
I’ve got passion, I’ve got fire.
I can see it now, my name in lights,
My family is going to be impressed.
I’ll pay for their holidays, hard work rewards.
I’m a big achiever, I’ll ace this test.
But wrapped up here good and warm.
Outside the air feels cold and mean.
Later there’s work, responsibility, and more.
I’ll just switch off my phone get back to my dream,
With the barmaid from Joes.
We were just getting a drink.
Anyways,
Goodnight.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
(c) Paul Andrew Sneddon
Why is it you always see people being interviewed on the telly or YouTube or whatever, and it’s always in front of a tonne of books?
Lined up perfectly on a shelf.
We get it.
You’re smart.
You read a lot.
Or do you?
Twenty copies of the same self-help book.
Some pristine. Unopened.
Like virgin snow.
I’m sure it started off innocent, some poor soul had a couple of books behind them.
The next person saw it and thought, This’ll blow them away. Straight onto Amazon. Credit card screaming. Fifty books and a bookshelf from IKEA.
You can pay someone now to pick the right books for you. It’s a job. A whole career. Do it just right and it almost looks like you’re sitting in the Mitchell Library.
“It’s okay. You can trust me. I’ve got books.”
Just once, I’d love to see somebody sitting there with the telly on behind them, Chewin’ the Fat reruns blaring, maybe shouting upstairs,
“Oi! I can hear you snoring!”
(c) Paul Andrew Sneddon
In the gut, go with the gut.
It’ll help you sleep at night.
It’ll help you look in the mirror
and not be too disappointed in what you see.
Hell, you might even crack a smile.
It’s your own built-in bullshit detector.
Learn to trust it.
It might just save your life.
If something doesn’t feel right, walk away.
You belong to no one and nothing.
No matter what people say,
you are your own person.
You’re not perfect, no one is.
And no suit, no degree,
no property empire,
no amount of money changes that.
So don’t be dazzled.
Don’t be fooled.
You are all you need.
Learn.
Work on yourself.
Every day, if you can.
Grow.
Don’t settle.
And more than anything, don’t give up.
Don’t.
Dig deep.
You will fuck up
It will feel like the end of the world sometimes.
It’s not.
Oh yeah… and the number one thing?
Make your own mind up.
Trust your gut.
And don’t listen to bad advice.
You’ll make your way, and you’ll be fine.
(c) Paul Andrew Sneddon
It went from a yellow alert to an amber alert to a red alert.
Danger to life. A little too quickly.
The fearless one is away to work. Healthcare. You don’t really have a choice.
I'm sitting here and the wind is howling down the chimney. I hear a crash and a bash. Pulling back the curtain.
Oh, it's just part of the roof.
Part of the roof.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
It's 8.15am. Check the app. Worst expected to hit between 11 and 3.
Ah jeezo, it sounds like the chimney is coming down.
Sitting down. Trying to work.
Checking an email: "Can you help me with my bill?"
Hold on big yin, I'm just trying to survive the morning.
Sounds like the house is playing Jenga. Or Tetris.
Start to lose my nerve and take my computer through to the front room. By the window.
What could possibly go wrong?
I take a look out the window.
The bins have blown over. Should I run out and put bin bags back before they get blown over the neighbourhood?
Standing at the door.
Waiting for a lull.
Watching clods of earth, branches, and a couple of unidentified flying objects roar by.
Is this the stupidest thing I've ever done?
"Hey dumbass in the tank."
Ok, fuck it. I’ve had a good life. I’ve seen some things, done some things. I’ve raised a family. Lived, loved, and all that stuff.
I’m having flashbacks to my whole life as the bin bags start to blow around the neighbourhood.
It’s not that bad, I tell myself. Is that a cloud or a low flying sheep going by?
I run out, a bit self-consciously, hoping no one sees me, hoping no one is filming me.
What was that show the kids used to watch?
"Stupid deaths, oh stupid deaths..."
I take a clod of earth to the face as I start picking up the rubbish. The wee man comes to the door for a laugh. I’m scooping a half-eaten packet of Wotsits, bin bags, cans.
I pick up the last bin bag and its contents fall through all over the garden. Brilliant.
Howls of laughter from the front step.
I find myself subconsciously trying to make myself smaller.
We’d been to see Twister a few months before and I find myself wondering if there is a barn with a basement nearby.
Or a flyover... drainage dip? Any shelter will do at this point
I scoop everything up randomly, push the bin down on its side as another gust comes through and I'm nearly knocked off my feet.
I run back over, sliding through the door. Wee man jumping out the way.
He runs over to me as I'm leaning against the wall, catching my breath. He comes over, I’m thinking he's going to give me a high five, but he says:
"You forgot to close the bin."
Aw fuck.
Later I'm pulling the curtains. I'm not going back out there. Out there doesn’t exist for now.
Aftermath
The next day after the storm clears.
I took a walk through the woods.
It looked like a T-Rex had appeared and rumbled through the woods, sending the trees flying and cutting a way through like a Godzilla through downtown Tokyo.
Or at least some Jurassic Park CGI effects from the 90s..
(c) Paul Andrew Sneddon
Paul Andrew Sneddon 