depression – Paul Andrew Sneddon

River

Content warning: this piece contains themes of depression and suicidal ideation. If you or someone you know is struggling, support is available:Samaritans — 116 123 (UK, 24/7, free)International crisis lines — http://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/ A story about survival. — Paul The wind cuts across the field.The old gatehouse shadowed against the dying sun. Not a soul here.Continue reading “River”

Lucky One

I thought I was at the end: the end of time,the end of life,the end of the line. But I was at the beginning.You’ve got to start somewhere.I started here, started again, down by the water, the river. I thought I hallucinated myself on the water of the Clyde,on a raft, going into the city.IContinue reading “Lucky One”

The Edge of the Volcano

Sometimes I feel like I’m standing on the edge of a volcano. The silence of the night. Weighs you down. Sometimes it makes it hard to breathe. I felt like if you whispered then the whole world would hear. But you knew it couldn’t be true. Could it? I watched the cold, steady rain fallContinue reading “The Edge of the Volcano”

Cloud

Sometime last week,I fell under a cloud—Grey and cold,And I can’t shake it. Wherever I go, it follows me:From the couch to the door,And the bus stop into town—A cold and empty rain. At the comedy club,I couldn’t laugh;Got called a “miserable bastard,”Told them to fuck off. At the football,Couldn’t sing the songs—Left early;Didn’t evenContinue reading “Cloud”